Happy New Year!!!

Did you party like it's 1999? No...? Me either. We were in bed by 9pm EST because both boys were off their usual schedules thanks to that 1 hour time change, we were sleeping in another space (third for the trip), everyone was over stimulated, exhausted, and, oh yeah, sugar loaded!!!! AHHHHHH!

So... what did we do? We celebrated NYE with my sister and her family at Kalahari Resort Pocono Mountains, Pennsylvania. This large indoor waterpark resort boasts "a get-away to make everyone's day". We did a stay and play for 3 days/2 nights in an African queen suite for just over $1700 plus another $250 with taxes & resort fees. That brought our room total to around $2000 which does include the waterpark passes for all 6 paying patrons (baby was free). For convenience we added on the VIP early check-in/late check-out (to accommodate naps), the mini Ultimate add-on (which included a few souvenirs, a breakfast voucher for 2 adults & 2 children, and activity passports for the two older toddlers) and for funsies I purchased surprise boxes for the kiddos at $50 a piece... total in extras $600. We opted to treat our family to the NYE buffet for a whopping $63/adult and $32/child (thank heavens children 3 & under were free!). GRAND TOTAL: just over $2900 for the stay not including a few paid a la carte breakfasts and one ordered-in dinner (~$50). I also decided, last minute, to splurge on a hot tub cabana for the two full days we were there playing… and I mean SPLURGE. The damn thing cost me $1500 per day… yes, I paid $3000 to rent a friggin’ hot tub people. I’m an idiot!

Here's my experience...

1. Expect inconsistent customer service. The customer service was either absolutely awful or it was great, no in between. They did not have the VIP check in staffed upon our arrival so I waited a ridiculously long time to get my check-in complete despite paying $150 to expedite it. The staff was unapologetic, abrasive, and not even remotely helpful in offering any sort of advice despite my explaining several times that this was our first Kalahari and indoor waterpark resort experience.

2. DO NOT ORDER THE EXTRAS!!! While the boxes were cute and the little souvenirs were certainly discounted over purchasing them a la carte, I wouldn’t have bought them all outright anyway. The kids were all too young to truly enjoy the surprise of them and having it be just after all the Christmas gifting… I think they were present(ed) out, honestly. It was also a stressor to figure out how to get the damn boxes in the first place. I called around and ended up talking to 4 different people, 3 phone transfers ,and a separate call on my own, to finally reach the person responsible for bringing them to our suite. It was exhaustive and wasted too much time that could have otherwise been spent playing. Since we had the hot tub… the kids furiously wanted to “play in the hot pool” because they were “cold” and thus spent much less time play in the actual water park. Now it’s like 85 degrees in this place, it’s not COLD! The water temp is a little chilly but well above your lap pool temperatures.

3. The passport for fun and Children’s Adventure Club is, and I mean this sincerely, A BIG JOKE!!! Nothing there is remotely engaging for toddlers. The staff are barely conscious and minimally aware of what the kids are doing, who’s paying (or not paying), and what’s happening. They are more absorbed in their own conversations with each other than anything and it shows! After every activity I attempted with my 4 year old… I had to actively assure they marked us as completed. Clearly loss prevention is not of concern for this department. Our options… paint ceramic things, tie-dye your own (aka the staff does it) T-shirt, color a bag or pillow case with fabric markers, etc. It’s a room of paint/color crafts with little to no staff engagement. Don’t waste your time or money unless you kids really enjoy painting or coloring.

4. Don’t bother making any kind of critical remarks for improved service because they don’t care. I mentioned twice, to two different people, on two separate days, that service was an issue and both times I was told I needed to lighten up. Okay… they didn’t say “lighten up” but one said “give them a break” and the other said “I don’t know anything about it”. No escalation, no concern, no acknowledgment of any issue. NO ONE CARED!

5. There’s an employee there named Benson. His service, his personality, his presence, makes me actually consider going back. This man not only does his job optimally, he’s friendly, helpful beyond his duties, and he connects with people. I observed it and I had the pleasure of experiencing it first-hand. The man needs a promotion, a raise, and perhaps, his own franchise because he makes a difference!

6. I wanted to recognize Benson and asked to speak to his manager. He directed me to a person in administration who expressed concern about my remarks of poor service, aside from Benson of course. He gave me his card, I emailed him, and…. HE CALLED ME! He said they’d meet as a team to discuss and he’d follow-up. I haven’t heard back from him but that was just a few days ago so I’m hopefully they’ll make some good headway and change how they train and support their staff. And, I really hope Benson gets some worthy recognition!!!

Hindsight & Advice:

- If we go back, we’d only go for the day. It’s just under an hour drive from my parents to this site and next time I’d plan for an after breakfast drive up, pay for a single day pass, a cabana WITHOUT a hot tub, lunch at the waterpark, and head home with a dinner on the road. Mind you, I’d pray my 1 year old would nap in the cabana with me but worse-case scenario, I’d leave him with my mother and just take the older toddlers!

- There are multiple areas for little kids to enjoy inside the actual waterpark. Easily TWO FULL kiddie play areas with slides, sprayers, climbing structures, floats, games, swings… it’s great! Plus there’s a very large splash structure with numerous slides, lots of sprayers, squirters, interactive widgets, and the general depth is around 8-14” so older toddlers (I’d say 3+ easily) would have a blast here. Our 3 year old had the time of his life, but he is super outgoing and adventurous and very much enjoyed the fast slides!

- If you’re taking kiddos that get cold easily, BRING A WETSUIT!!! You can find toddler wetsuits on Amazon, which is where I purchased ours. Don’t do a hot tub or, I promise, the kids will think of it as a giant bathtub and never want to leave it.

- Bring your family, if you can. Built in childcare would be a dream, if it’s feasible. There’s a wicked sweet adults only hot tub swim up bar that I would have killed to chill in… had we the opportunity.

- You don’t need to bring towels, especially if you’re renting a cabana, they’re included as well as bottles of water. I did see a towel service counter, but it could be that you are asked to provide a room number. I'm honestly not certain.

- It’s EASY, and thoroughly overlooked, to bring in outside food although they have posted you cannot. If you’re cautious to keep the food stowed away and not obnoxiously eating your McDonald’s quarter pounder in front of the zero-entry wave pool, you’d be just fine having a handful of munchies to keep kiddos content.

- Everything is, as expected, outrageously overpriced. $14/mixed drinks, $9/bottle of beer, $17/pizza pie, $11/grilled cheese sandwich with fries.